Worst Lyrics Ever

Is it just me or are pop lyrics getting progressively dumber and weirder? I just started hearing Mariah Carrey’s new single on the radio (Touch My Body), and I still can’t believe how retarded the chorus is:

“If there’s a camera up in here
Then I’d best not catch this flick
On YouTube (YouTube)
‘Cause if you run your mouth and brag
About this secret rendezvous
I will hunt you down
‘Cause baby I’m up in my bidness
Like a Wendy interview
But this is private
Between you and I”

Why so glum?

Here’s an excerpt from an article I found that really struck a chord with me:

“Modern day Americans are often trapped in lousy, disappointing, soul crushing careers. If they are not divorced already, their marriages are on the rocks. They live far outside of their means, rack up thousands of dollars of debt, and then they work overtime to pay for the toys they never have time to play with. They dedicate their lives to pleasing ungrateful children who won’t amount to much more than they did. Hours of their downtime is spent in front of the television, switching from reality show to reality show, because it is easier to watch other people live life than it is to live their own. In a rare moment of creativity, they might write a secret out on a postcard and send it to a website because they don’t have a single person in real life that they trust enough to share their fears with. They feel all of this on top of the usual human maladies of sickness, death and grief.

To be perfectly honest, I would think it was weirder if most people didn’t entertain thoughts of suicide.

The majority of people aren’t sad because there is something wrong with their brain. They are sad because their lives suck. But rather than admit that to themselves, they run to the Doctor and beg for a diagnosis that alleviates their personal responsibility in this regard. After all, if a man in a white coat tells you’re broken, you never have to worry about fixing yourself. The sad reality is that they’ll spend the rest of their lives switching medications and wondering why nothing they take works and cures their disease. Never once do they consider that the disease is their life and true healing will come once attempts are made to repair it.

If you are sad right now, I want you to consider that perhaps there is nothing wrong with you. Perhaps you are seeing things the way they ought to be seen. Maybe there is just something wrong with the world right now? Instead of popping some pills in the hopes that they will put us on a perpetual even keel, maybe instead we should figure out what is wrong with our society…and fix it.”

Full article at Violent Acres

Making Beats: Acapellas

Okay- this might be skipping ahead a bit. Say you read my previous articles on making beats and came out with something pretty sweet. Or say you didn’t read my articles but made some sweet beats anyway. Whats the next step? Add rapping! “But I can’t rhyme for shit and I have the voice of a prepubescant albino chipmunk!” you squeel? Not to fear, this is what acapellas are for.

You want the rap from some awesome song without the beat? Getting this may be a bit harder than it sounds. The easist way is to find a file where its already like that. There are many acapella’s floating around the internet- I’ve had pretty good luck using BitTorrent- try typing “acapella” into a site like Isohunt and download away (if you don’t understand this, read my article on “How to Download Anything You Want”). Another good source is Frostwire, similar to Limewire but not being sued.

But what if you can’t find the acapella for a specific song you really want? Well.. its not pretty, but there are ways…

Making Beats: Sample Sources

Okay, to make good beats you need good sounds. Drum loops, instruments, weird effects…. and theres lots of places on the net where you can find them. Here are some of my favourite sites for samples:

Oneshot Samples 

Beastie Boys Accapellas 

Okay.. now this one is THE HOLY GRAIL for drum loops man. Took me a while to find this, but it has soooooooooo many classic sampled drum breaks its not even funny. Use it wisely:

Phatso’s Place 

And yes, theres more where these came from. I’m just giving you a small taste right now so you’ll want to keep coming back again and again like a sample junkie. You’re welcome

Good grief

Wow… heres some messed up videos for you. I used to love peanuts when I was a kid, so these videos are particularly hilarious to me. Enjoy some good old fashion Charlie Brown humour:

Bring me the head of Charlie Brown:

And heres a mocumentary about Charles Shulz’s illigitamate son:

Classic Peanuts!

Electronic Vote-Stealing: Watch Out

I’ve always felt that these new electronic voting machines they have at every election were kind of suspicious. Just recently Princeton University has proven my doubts. They were able to hack a diebold voting machine to alter its record of votes, and erase their trail with an easily installed program. They also created a virus which would do the same to all the voting machines on the network. Scary stuff. I would watch out if you see these Diebold voting machines at the elections in November. Let your congressman know about this problem, please.

Heres the article 

Blogs I Heart

Yeah, thought I’d give a shout out to some nice blogs out there, ones that inspired me to make my own. Man… blogs can be addictive, I’ve got like five that I need to check every day or I feel all cold and empty inside.

Heres some music ones:

Create Digital Music- excellent computer music news

Music Thing- weird and crazy music stories

And some other ones:

Gizmodo-technology with a humerous slant

Kotaku- video games with a humerous slant

BoingBoing- random crazy stuff

I’m sure most of you have heard of at least some of these. Enjoy them anyway!

Don’t Download This Song! (just kidding, you can download it)

Anyone remember Weird Al? I was really into him back in like 5th grade. Hears his latest hit single, a tirade against all those nasty criminals pirating music all the live-long day.

Don’t Download This Song

Speaking of downloaing, apparently Limewire (highly popular P2P client similar to Napster, Morpheus, Kazaa, etc.) has recently been sued. Whats a boy to do? I came across this other nice program, apparently highly similar to Limewire except still free of unwanted legal attention. What are you waiting for? Go to it!

Frostwire

Moooore Hilarity

Yes, I, along with an estimated 2/3 of the world population, like Will Ferrell. He has that amazing knack, found in so few, for playing a complete idiot while at the same time remaining totally serious and dedicated to his character. I watched Talladega Nights last night, and although it was a crappy downloaded bootleg (see article on How to Download Anything), it still had me cracking up. Even Aimee enjoyed it, though she was admitadly a bit tipsy at the time. So anyway, heres a little gem I found from one of his previous cinematic endeavors; I think you’ll recognize which one I’m talking about.

Man, the lyrics to that song are pretty dirty now that I think about it. The song title sounded like some kind of fruity desert when I first heard it. *cue Homer voice* Mmmmm… afternoon delight….

Heres another scrumpcious morsel for your dining pleasure:

The Ten Best Will Ferrell Skits of All Time

Hilarity, unbridled hilarity

Okay, I know insulting our president has become somewhat of a fad lately(come to think of it, ever since he became our president), but I can’t help myself, this is great. Sometimes I wonder if Bush really is just a well meaning, slightly-dim but damn patriotic farmboy- or if thats just a media front for the conniving evil mastermind that lurks beneath his vacant smile. Either way, he doesn’t seem like the type of person that should be running this country. I guess from this post you can see where my political feelings lie; if people find my opinions offensive then I reply that I find it far more offensive the way this country is currently being run- BIATCH!

How To Download Anything You Want

When I was a little kid, I always wanted to be a pirate…

Disclaimer: The techniques described in the following article are for educational purposes only. I do not condone any illegal activity that transpires with the use of this knowledge, and I absolve myself of all legal responcibility. Downloading copywritten material is (currently) illegal, so be careful and don’t say I didn’t warn you..

That being said-

Thanks to the miracle of the internet and several fairly recent advances in file-sharing and bandwidth, it is now possible for anyone with an internet connection to obtain any kind of media they want for free (movies, video games, software, music, books, etc. etc.). In this article I will explain the best ways I have found of gaining access to this material. Click more to see how….

Ah… my first real post

Although my main focus when creating music is hip-hop, I dabble in some electronica every once in a blue moon. Anyway, the techniques of creating music apply to both genres, so who’s complaining? Heres a “techno god”, BT, doing his shit. He’s remixing an Earth, Wind, and Fire song live and on the fly, using Live. This is one of my favourite programs for making music by the way, so I DEMAND that you check it out.

This video is from YouTube of course, and for those who don’t know, YouTube is the-best-thing-in-the-world

“I’m the don of inginuity, pride of my community…”

Hello hello. Its friday, very early, and I’m trying to sustain my fading conciousness
with coffee and internet humour. I’m Jacob (which you probably don’t care about), in some
circles known as Dr. Oscillator. This is my blog. You may be wondering what its all about, eh?

Well, I’m still figuring that out so be patient, jerk. Until I figure out a definitive
mission statement/directive/manifesto to proudly display on the title bar of your browsers,
its contents will consist of whatever-the-hell-i-want-it-to-be (which is probably what it
will end up being anyway, though more official). To give you a more specific view of my
vision, I’ll be posting mostly music production information, humorous stuff, and basically
whatever else I’ve found that I feel will satiate my (projected) audience of
millions of you slathering blog-hungry plebians. Dig in!

Hit “the jump” for more! (for those not “in the know”, hitting the jump means pressing the “more” button below, which will lead you to more tasty content that I don’t want to crowd up my main page with)